Since I have the most perfect children and am the most perfect mommy, I wanted to share with you my exceptional experiences that I have while on the phone. There have been times when I am on the phone with the pediatric office which will allow a scream or a cry every once in a while. Then, other times it will be the bank that holds my mortgage. Yet other times I am delighted to have to contact my cell phone carriers because I need an Internet or download charge reversed because my children have figured out how to download a King of the Hill something that I can't even find on my phone. These calls would be much more pleasant and productive if I didn't have three kids screaming and crying and fighting.In an attempt to minimize these offenses I wait patiently for them to occupy themselves in a somewhat quiet manner. When the planets align and the sun is in full eclipse I sprint to my phone and dial the desired number. The phone rings once... still silence, twice... silence, thr-... "Hello?"
"HEY THAT'S MIIIIINE GIVE IT BAAAACK!!!!" I missed the window. Now I am privileged to try and juggle an adult conversation while trying to calm the monsters. The best is when there is an automated voice on the other end and it hears the children scream instead of your voice and sends you to the Spanish speaking area, what the?
The point of all this is to tell you of a splendid example of this madness. I am planning a spa party for the ladies in our neighborhood. I was on the phone with the girl that is coming to glitter our toes and wax certain unsightly areas. All the while I have of course missed the eclipse of the sun and the planets could not be farther out of line. here's how it goes:
Heather (waxing girl): "Ok does that sound ok with you?"
Me: "Would you just stop- Oh yes that sounds great, Thank- Hey I told you to stop!"
Heather: (quiet chuckle) "So I'll see you then."
Me: "Will you get out of the bathroom please?! Yes-"
TK: " BUT MOM I HAVE TO GO POOOOOP!"
Case and point. I'm sure you all have a good phone story or two, do share.
5 comments:
This CRACKS ME UP! Because its sooo true. I usually run away and lock myself in the bathroom to talk on the phone. Whatever damage that is done during that time is a small price to pay :)
I am soooooooooooooooooo with you on this one! My kids could care less about me...until I get on the phone. All of the sudden, they have a question that is "very important." Most the time, that very important question is something like "What can I have for a snack?" or "Can I go play with a friend?" Seriously, could they wait TWO MINUTES until I'm off the phone!?! Sigh...
Oh my goodness didn't we talk about this once before when I called you!!! I am always trying to "sneak" in calls when the girls are preocupied with something and it just never turns out how I want it to. So now I have just resorted to setting myself a timer on my phone to go off when the girls are asleep during their nap to remind me to do all my calling!
Story of my life these days. Thanks for sharing.
I always wonder why Alex doesn't start screaming UNTIL I am on the phone. I guess it's just a boy thing.
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