The Lesson

I got so much response from my last post I thought I might follow it up by telling you what we did for Family Home evening the following Monday. I got this idea from a friend.

First I asked the kids individually how they felt about what happened. I honestly didn't think they thought too much about it. T.K. said it made him angry, Brayden said it made him sad. I was really surprised at their responses. I told them it made me feel both those things at the same time. Then I changed angles and said let's think about how (we'll call him Joe) Joe felt. So they said things like sad and angry.

I gave everyone a sheet of paper. I told everyone to notice how the paper looked and felt. It was nice and smooth and the way it was supposed to be. Then I instructed everyone to ball up the paper. This was the fun part, there were quite a bit of sound effects to accompany the balling up. When the paper was in a ball I asked them to look at it and notice how different it looked like this. Was it useable? Did it look nice? Did it feel nice? I said this is how people feel when they are bullied. The mean words and mean actions make us feel like this balled up paper.

I then turned back to Joe. When Joe went home and told his mommy what happened he was all balled up. When his mommy gave him a hug and told him she loved him and how great he was, that helped him straighten his paper out a little I pulled a corner out a little. It started to resemble the piece of paper again. I told everyone to unball the paper and make it exactly like it was before. Of course it was impossible. This is the lesson. No matter what, the mean words and actions stay with you. We can help Joe feel better by being his friends and being nice to him but he will always remember how he felt when those mean things were said and done. I pointed out that we never want to make others feel that way, either in our family or outside.

I hope this helped my kids, kind of see what this all meant. I don't necessarily blame the parents of the bullies. I know that there are super good parents out there that try the best they can but children still have free agency and make their own decisions.

I'm still struggling with the events that took place and the fact that I know they are still happening. My heart breaks for everyone who was every bullied (I've been there too) either in their childhood or adulthood.

People, we're all in this together. Lets enjoy the journey, together.