The other day while we were walking home from school we came upon a pile of kids. I thought they were just messing around like kids do. When we got a little closer I recognized one of the kids as being a friend of Brayden. He's a good kid, always shows up to Scouts, in uniform I might add and always respectful as far as I can tell. There were 2 other boys. They kept getting on the kid's bike as he was trying to walk and getting in his face mocking him. Getting in front of his bike so he couldn't walk. When we came up he turned around and saw Brayden and said "I really don't like those 2." My heart just broke. So when we caught up and they were messing with him I told them to knock it off and beat it. They persisted and started bringing me and my kids into it. They kept telling T.K. that his scooter was going to fall apart and they referred to me as "the lady who's not in charge of us." It seriously took everything I had not to get in their faces and beat the crap out of them.
Some times I worry that because I am raising my kids to be respectful and kind that I am setting them up to be at the receiving end of this mess. Bullying takes so many forms it's crazy. It makes me so sad that we really hate each other that much to just pick on an innocent person?! Someone who maybe looked in your general direction you're now going to make their life miserable? We are not savage beasts. We don't have to fight for territory or mates or food, there is no reason for this madness! I remember my parent's teaching me that if someone is doing something you don't like, walk away, if someone asks you a question you answer with a "yes ma'am/sir or no ma'am/sir." What has happened?! It makes me want to cry.
So does all this mean I can let up and let my kids run willy-nilly down the street saying nasty things to people they don't know? Ummm.... NO! I will raise my kids with respect and above all kindness, heaven forbid they get hurt doing something nice for someone, but you know what, I would rather them die with a soft heart and sweet spirit than a hard, non-forgiving, mean spirit that is all to common these days.
Please, someone tell me I'm not alone in my quest to raise decent human beings!
5 comments:
Thank you for posting this. I've been thinking about this incident ever since you mentioned it on Facebook, and it is a tough one. I suppose that ultimately we should be teaching our children to be like the Savior... so studying the way the savior handled situations is probably the best instruction. I agree with you, I would rather my children be the soft hearted ones even if it mean being on the receiving end of unkindess. HOWEVER, I find it absolutely essential to teach our boys (girls too, if we had 'em) to be leaders, and to stand for righteousness wherever they are, and defend and protect the ones being bullied if they can! Just my two cents. This has really got me thinking though.
Good for you! And, I am right there with you. It is heart breaking to see the bullying, and it's hard for the momma bear to stay inside when I hear my kid was on the receiving end.
I hate watching the kids bully each other. Since my house sits on the route home for most of the neighborhood we see a lot of horrible behavior. I always just tell my kids how mean it is to hurt others. Good for you for not throwing rocks at those mean kids!
Alex is only 4 but elements of bullying can start early. So we tell him that if someone hits him or makes fun of him to tell that kid to stop it. We want Alex to be able to stand up for himself. Then if the other kid doesn't stop, to tell a teacher. When they get older and they're playing in groups unsupervised it gets more complicated. But I still think it's ok for kids to know it's not good to hit or yell at others but they can defend themselves and help others when they're on the defensive.
Uggghhh...I hate kids like that. Why are kids so mean??? I was the targets of bullies (older boys) when I was in kindergarten. They would torment me time & time again. Then, when I got a little older & moved to an affluent area, it was girls who would make fun of me because I didn't know how to pronouce Esprit, and because I didn't wear Guess Jeans. My mom would always tell me that the reason the kids did it was because they had poor self-esteem. I didn't believe her back then, but now I do. I even still see it in adults sometimes. People who don't feel good about themselves always try to bring others down. I guess some things never change. :(
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