Our Profanities
I pride myself on my well behaved family. We rarely offend... or so I thought. Imagine my dismay when I found out we ALL have potty mouths.
The other day Brayden was playing with a new boy that had just moved into our neighborhood. The new boy ran over to me and said Brayden had called him a bad word. "My Brayden?" I thought with alarm. The only people he is usually mean to is us, his family. So I called Brayden over to try and resolve the issue in a calm, private manner so I didn't embarrass him in front of his other friends. I asked him what happened and the other boy was there to regulate as well (thank goodness). So Bray went on with his story and the other boy cut in and said, "He said poopy!" I was still waiting for the bad word. His mom who was right beside me cut him off and said, "Oh we don't say that word."
WELL...ok I didn't say anything else to Brayden. I just let him go back to playing I didn't really know what to say. It's such a common word in our house.
Two days later after our public chastisement of saying "poopy" Bray was playing in our yard with the neighbor's kids. Their little boys yells "Maaaaa-rrrrry! Brayden said BUTT!"
"OH CRAP! Here we go again." I thought.
I just can't win with these people. Two different incidents on two different days, what is a mommy to do? I thought I was doing pretty well. We try to regulate poop talk at the dinner table, and some words are not nice but we usually don't say they are BAD. My kids are just too young to figure out the context in which to use them appropriately, ie: "YOU are stupid" and "THAT is stupid" one is way different than the other.
I have compiled a list of naughty words frequently said in my family and apparently forbidden in others. I have also included some possible alternatives:
Pee- Urination, making water, tinkle, yellow water, #1
poop- fecal matter, elimination, tootsie roll, #2, doodie, CRAP
fart- toot, froggy, poopy puff (my personal favorite), stinky, fluff
butt- rump, gluteus (maximus or minimus), hind end, ba-donk-a-donk, boo-tox,
It seems I have put myself in the middle of a pretty tight bubble, and I'm not the type to be put in a bubble. So I guess I would like to warn my fellow bubble dwellers about my foul mouth and the possibility of their bubble bursting. I think we are doing pretty good, if 'poop' is the worst thing my kid says, well then just CRAP my pants and call me happy! If it bothers you well then I guess we just can't be friends, how sad, oh well... HAPPY POOPING!!!!
P.S. This post is for entertainment purposes only, no offense intended.
10 comments:
love this!!! I've felt this same way - - as the kids get older there's bigger and better to worry about. I feel like kids will get resentful if parents are TOOOOO picky
Haha! I love all your words! They are awesome! And, if someone is going to get offended by the word "poopy" then they shouldn't come anywhere near my family!
As long as your kid doesn't say my kid IS poop, then I don't care! :)
Thanks for the laugh. I especially liked the acceptable alterations of the "bad" words! :)
Oh ya! I love it. Don't worry my girls say alot of these words too! So luckily we can still be friends :)
A couple of things. You MUST send me that cute pic of the boys at the top of your page. Can you say adorable?!?! I also need your Easter pics. Sorry to be a nag.
And as long as your kids don't watch Aunt Nan (aka one of the purest people alive) drop something and when she says "darn it" and have your kids say "no, Aunt Nan, you supposed to say 'oh, $#!*'" then you're one up on us. He was 3 at the time.
Tysen said Holy Crap in school a couple of weeks ago and I got a phone call. When she told me that's why she was calling, there was an akward pause (like you could hear crickets chirping in the background) and my first thought was "and?"
As I've noted on our blog, the Days are experts at profanity - it's in our blood. Conisder any uncomfortable potty-mouthed situation as a right of passage deeper into the family :)
Oh, my. Kris and I have to stay away from families like that (w/ picky moms/dads) because we are just too offensive. Instead of losing friends, we'd rather just not make them and prevent offending them. I imagine we won't be able to keep Alex from saying things like "poop" and "fart" and whatever else.
Holy Shit this is F'd up!
Wow! Casey lets keep it PG around here, but I'm glad someone finally said it ;)
yeah those are pretty funny. you are right. if that is the worst they are saying right now then good for them. what are they supposed to say i mean HELLO! you gotta go you gotta go right. you have good boys and we will still be your friends.
I try to teach my kids not to repeat what I say-I tell them they shouldn't get into the habit of swearing. They should be more like their dad, who doesn't swear. I'm trying darn it!
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